Fenril-Huayra

Hi everyone.

Just wanted to update this before another year pass o,o

I just had to leave this place because I'm busy as hell working, drawing a lot and everything because I still don't have any plans to abandon drawing, I love to do that

So If you like to do something, fight for it, don't leave it, enjoy it and see ya next time, byebye!

Hi everyone!

Ok first, thanks for the birthday wishes, sorry If I don't appear here, but at least I enjoyed my 3 birthday... days, the first one kind f sad, the second one kind of good and finally the third one where I just relaxed doing absolutely nothing

And on some other news, I'll (hopefully) be updating some sketches I did as commissions here too, some cute and good sketches I want to post here too that I liked a lot, this after stopping a bit with some commisisons and then doing some posting here and there, so fiiinally some updates will appear along the month

For now I'll just keep working as always, I'll try to rest a bit from time to time too, but I'll keep working on the projects I have to do, like an 8 pages comic, a webcomic and well maybe one day I can go and work on my own comic too... hopefully soon after some changes I'm doing.

And welp... I'm feeling regular, not as bad as I thought but well not as good as I want to feel, this birthday was good enough to rest a bit and think about what I'll do next, like leaving this country, because here I won't get everything I want even If I fight for it, I treid so many times and always finish being alone and hopeless... and yeah that's enough for me, I absolutely can't understand the people outside in those streets... so I need to go to new streets and probably hope people there really want to know how I feel or at least understand why I like to work and try to do something for my future instead of just crying and lazing around watching the world spinning.

But ok thanks for read my nonsense again, the updates are coming and I hope to be here again, have a nice day people and see ya in the next journal!

Hi everyone

... yeah another bad title from me to this journal, I know, bad because I don't know what to put in there... and bad because it's how I feel.

2017 it's a year of big success, I'm living in a better apartment than the one I was living for 5 years, I'm working like I never did before, my father will get out of prison this year, my damn brother is helping us finally with all of this and well... I should be happy... but that's not the case.

I just want to know why? I'm working everyday like if there's no tomorrow, having enough money to help my family and to enjoy some nice things, I like to work because I don't have anything better to do, my work it's giving me everything, nice people to talk, I'm using my time so I'm not lazing around like an idiot waiting for something to happen but then... I don't know why I'm feeling so sad right now? My heart problem is coming back because of this and I don't want to go back to that and then just do nothing because my condition... I'm getting angry again because of that too, feeling that the world is against me... again.

Of course I just got the conclusion... I'm doing this the wrong way, I need to leave the work and do... whatever... yeah that will be the correct thing to do... but I don't believe that, I mean If I don't work then what the hell I'll be doing the rest of the time? I have this conflict with myself, I just want to keep working, enjoying my time doing the only thing I know, then why the entire world, the entire universe... even my damned dreams tell me that I should leave all of this? I don't see the good on that... but I'm seeing the bad on doing the same again and again.

It's the middle of the year already, so for once and for the last time I'll try something to change this, yeah I have work to do but I plan to do something and If that something isn't changing my life then it's over, I'll just get back to work and never leave it at least not until I have everything to use another chance or until I die whatever happens first.

I'm not ready for this and that's why I was waiting until the end of the year, but those damn signals... telling me to leave the work and smile doing other thing I don't know or I don't want... are really strong, I'm not that strong yet because I'm still working on that but... I just can't wait anymore... because those damn signals!!

So I'll just keep thinking about this for awhile, I'll keep working like usual, every day and every night until something happens or until I finally explode or whatever... I don't know... I don't want to make a new mistake... and I hope this isn't one right now... my work is everything... but nothing to be happy.

Sadly I'm feeling tired more and more every day, I planned my vacations yeah... but the work it's almost infinite and I'll have my vacations maybe until August, because I have to work... I have to finish everything and take care of all of that stuff... it's just sometimes I feel I can't hold it anymore... not even a day or two of rest is enough for me... it's boring when I do nothing while I watch the world spinning.

Ok so thanks for read this nonsense again, I always need to write to feel a bit better... and yeah sorry If my english is still a crappy one, enjoy your lives, be happy and I'll see you in the next journal... I hope.

Hello people

I'm here after everything, after a... decent vacations, after the worst year in my life and after a bad breakfast o_o

Happy new year! ...uhm everyone says that but we never know how this year will be, maybe will be good or be the best year in everyones life... can be worse than 2016 too (Please sweet mother of god No...) I dunno,

I have reaaaally high hopes in this year, this because I got a new place to live and work, I work like 4 or 5 times what I worked before, probably this year finally I'll solve the problem with my family that I'm solving... since 4 years ago... I'm really optimistic now, I still have my doubts, I'm still pissed off about my life and my decisions most of the time but now... I feel different about what's happening to me... and we're just starting o.o

I'm still unable to enjoy what I have because I still think of me as a mere tool but again... it's different now, I'm not enjoying my life nor my few good decisions but I think I'll do If I just push my strenght to the limit once again... If my heart can endure that then I think I'll do a bigger change this year, well I said that I'll change everything so It's a good start

So for now I'll just keep concentrating on my work and nothing more, I have like 5 projects now and I'm also including my own webcomic story I'll release sometime this year... and now I'll truly do, because I have like 8 finished pages of Stars Rain done

I really need to attend the projects I'm in so sadly I can't promise more drawings here, but again If I have some time to do a quick little sketch or something I'll be here uploading it to keep filling this gallery with my non-sensical creativity and stuff... If there's one think I knpw is that I love to create

So that's all for now, this year is starting regular but with some work and some gold in my pockets I'll start building my new future, with some luck I'll be leaving the country finally and find all I need to feel again, to be happy again and to discover the meaning of my damn existence... or maybe just to enjoy my life more and keep working like I like to do

Thanks everyone for still be around here, I'll be around too telling you the good or bad news of this year and of course I'll be working like hell again, but trying to enjoy it of course Work can be fun too, specially If you draw lot of kitties :3

See you next time and make this year the best even if the world want it to be the worst

Hi everyone

To be honest I'm almost decided to close this account, not because something bad thank goodness but... half year without being here is... something o_o

The thing is... I'm happier than before, well I'm still sad because the world and I hate everything but I can smile now, because finally I took a decision that I'm proud of, I mean all my decisions from before just keep me sinking in the same hole over and over again, but not now.

When I left my house and left my... family almost 5 years ago I thought I could feel better... well I did but after sometime everything went from bad to worse, starting 2013 with my family problems, all through 2016, the worst year I had until I lost my patience... again. I was losing everything, everyone and one more day there could kill me, that's why I decided to leave that old apartment, so now I'm living in another one, a bigger and better one, where now I don't give a damn about the people that don't care about me and what I feel, what I do and what I think, I'm just here now, starting again from zero and working like I never did before.

This doesn't mean that I'll be stuck here again, this time I'll use this opportunity to change lot of things, to get ready to finally leave this horrible country, where I can't find my place to be, or people that I want to know and trust me, I'm leaving because most of the poeple here don't care about grow up or they just give up so easily, and I don't want to do any of that again.

So I'm feeling good now, great even because I'm working like I never did before, I also started my comic Stars Rain already so I just hope to go up every day from now on, all because I'm hitting my 30's now... damn.

So basically I'm happy, not as happy as I want to be but happy because I'll start a new cycle with a couple of projects going on, working a lot and getting ready for new things, for now I want to say... I'm proud of this decision, to keep drawing and left all that garbage behind that  just made my life a mess.

So as you can see everyone, I'm not dead... I almost was dead but nop, I'm here and I really want to upload something to this gallery... but lot of work and projects are in my list now so I'll move to that first, If I'm lucky I'll throw something here

So thanks If you're still here watching this and well I'll just keep moving forward, drawing a lot and move to a new level, where more people can watch my art and well... I'll try to be happy again now that I have new chances, thanks everyone, thanks life for not giving up on me and remember everyone, be happy, keep moving forward and see you next time on another journal

Have a nice day!